New Age Fallacy #2: "You can manifest anything you want"

The belief that you can manifest anything you want has become very popular, and has motivated many people to believe in themselves more highly, to take more risks, and to overcome self-doubt.  But like many similar grandiose statements, it can also cause tremendous suffering in those who accept it without critical thinking.

Let's start with the obvious.  If anyone on earth has ever wanted to manifest flying to the moon, or living forever, or creating a pile of gold the size of a mountain, it is fairly obvious that no one has yet succeeded in doing so, or we would have known about it.  If it were possible to live forever, there would be people thousands of years old still alive today.  And while these and many other grandiose desires are fairly common among our race, it's pretty obvious that most people do not get what they hope for.  Even if we believe these feats were possible, the chances that we will be the first person to manifest such a feat in the course of history are quite remote.  Clearly, the belief that we can literally manifest anything we want is absurd. 

However, there is a critical spiritual truth buried in this statement which we do not want to miss in our literal analysis.  It is well known that having positive attitudes and expectations can increase the chance of certain desires and goals being met.  The person who is confident in his ability to achieve what he wants is much more likely to succeed than the person who expects to fail.  There are countless examples of people who have succeeded beyond odds at achieving something astounding that no one would have bet on.  People have been ridiculed for attempting outlandish goals, sometimes facing scientific or rational thought "proving" it was impossible, only to have the "impossible" happen.  And if we limit our beliefs, and give in to "common sense", we may actually prevent the outcomes that we dream about.  Life is truly full of these kinds of miracles - people who can dance who were told they would never walk again, people from the ghetto rising to a high position, people creating technology that accomplishes what no one thought could ever be done.  Clearly, we do not want to eliminate the possibility of some of the greatest miracles of our lives.

However, just because there is an occasional unexpected miracle doesn't suddenly cause us to have absolute power over the universe to make anything happen that passes through our minds.  The person who believes he will win a game of tennis is more likely to succeed in his goal than the person who believes he will fly when he jumps out of a window.  The outcome is not determined by confidence - no amount of faith will lift his body one inch above its default trajectory.  A probability of zero is still zero after being multiplied by a million.

Miracles are by definition rare, and there are even more examples of people who have tried to accomplish something for years, only to learn the hard lesson that they must let go of their dream, and pursue something that is more realistic than what they wanted.  This, too, is reality, and cannot be ignored.  One of the hardest decisions for someone to face is whether or not to give up on a dream, or to try yet one more time.  There is no one answer that fits all.  Our decision is ultimately a judgment call, based on reality and intuition, and when we do finally decide to give up, we can never know what would have happened if we had kept going.  It is part of the human dilemma to live with the question of what could have been.  

What is being missed here is that we are not the only force in the universe.  We are not all-powerful, we do not get everything we want, we are not in ultimate control of how the universe operates.  The belief that we are all-powerful comes directly from infancy, when we all had the magical belief that we were the center of the universe, and everything existed for our benefit.  It can be a harsh awakening when an infant first realizes that there are forces that his life is dependent upon, which are nevertheless completely outside of his control, and that he is forced to be dependent on an external force that inexplicably tends to his needs.  This is where we first learn undeserved love; we are cared for without doing a thing to earn it.

This belief in personal power is promoted partially to counteract our tendencies to feel and behave like a victim; and yet, the fact is, we *are* often powerless in the face of other forces and situations.  Why is it so important to acknowledge our limitations?  Because, just like the belief that suffering is optional, the belief that we can do anything creates shame, confusion, and self-judgment when something fails to materialize.  We think we did something wrong if we did not get what we wanted, or tried so hard to get.

So how can we acknowledge and live with our powerlessness without falling into the trap of victimhood and apathy?  By stopping our demands that the universe behave a certain way, and starting to engage in a dance - if we learn about life, we get to know its rules, and we start to discover the opportunities that life hands us, not the power we fantasize we have just because we want to be all powerful.  Instead of demanding our way, we can "ask" - we can try, and believe, and move forward with hope, all the while keeping the humility of knowing that we are not all-powerful, and that the outcome is dependent on many things other than our own ego and desire.

We are in a dance with life.  We are dancing with an extraordinarily complex and beautiful partner, and we can only experience that beauty when there is respect for both partners, not demands that the other do as we dictate.  And when there is a flow between ourselves and life our partner, when we have learned the rhythm of the dance and how to put ourselves in sync with it, then we will know what is truly possible, and we will find ourselves asking only for what life is already prepared to offer us.

New Age Fallacy #1: "Suffering is Optional"

A popular statement going around in new age circles is "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional".  As with many clever sounding statements, it catches the attention - who wants to suffer?  If suffering is optional, who wouldn't want to choose to avoid or eliminate it?  It appeals to everyone, because everyone suffers sometimes, and this promises hope of delivery from that pain.

And yet people continue to suffer, and often suffer horribly.  If suffering is optional, it makes it seem that those who are suffering are suffering needlessly, and thus foolishly.  If suffering could truly be easily eliminated, who would not eliminate it?

This belief can cause much more suffering than it relieves.  Tell someone dying of cancer that they are suffering needlessly.  If they make the mistake of listening to you, they may wonder what is wrong with them that they continue to suffer when they don't need to.  They may wallow in guilt believing that they could do something, and they should know how to do it, and thus are to blame for not stopping it.  If one believes that continued suffering is the result of something they are doing wrong, the suffering is compounded.  To suggest to a suffering person that their suffering is needless is horribly cruel if there is in reality little that can be done.

There is, of course, a truth that this philosophy is trying to express, although it does so very poorly.  Sometimes, our suffering comes from beliefs we hold about the world or about ourselves, and it is very possible to free oneself from that suffering through letting go of our story.  In some situations, it may be true that all of our suffering around a particular situation comes from our own beliefs and attitudes, and letting go of those beliefs can create instant relief and freedom.  This is indeed a precious and wonderful truth to learn, and the person who learns this can live a much happier life.

However, it is a bit absurd to claim that "suffering is optional", which implies that all suffering is optional.  Even when our beliefs are the cause of our suffering, beliefs are often deep, unconscious, and difficult to change, sometimes difficult to even discover, and it is a rare thing indeed that anyone achieves a mindfulness that causes no suffering whatsoever.  And as for other conditions like cancer, eliminating suffering through mental control is a herculean feat that very few people will ever accomplish.  

Suffering is a natural part of life.  There is no reason to blame ourselves or others for suffering - some suffering is normal and inevitable.  Too often we blame suffering on the victim.  Sometimes, it is true we do cause our own suffering, in part or in total.  Sometimes, suffering is just a part of life, and we have no control over it at all.  But glib statements such as "suffering is optional" are at best misleading, at worst horribly cruel.  Pause and think before you spout your favorite one-liner to someone whose pain you do not fully understand.