Commitment

The word that makes single men shudder. The word that conjures up chains and lifetime obligations that one can't get out of.

The reason for commitment to a belief, action, or person is to compensate for the times when our primitive nature takes over and we lose sight of what we want. Commitment is like a stake in the ground - when we have clear vision of what we want, we can stake it out, write it down, commit it to memory, or do something so that we have a place to come back to when we forget what our values are. When I am in my right mind, I know I want to spend more caring and fun time with my son - I believe it will be good for both of us, and enhance the relationship. When I am running around doing a million things, suddenly going out to McDonalds together doesn't seem very important. It seems obvious that many other things are much more critical.

But if I have made a conscious commitment to spend more time, I will remember that I made it, and even though I might not be able to remember the wisdom in that commitment at the moment, I know I knew the wisdom of it when I made it, and I can exercise some trust in my own past judgment, rather than being swayed by the feelings of the moment.

Making a formal commitment can seem silly and unnecessary - it may seem obvious what the right thing to do is. But in the heat of passion, if our commitment is not clear, we will not know which way to turn. It is like a fire drill - it seems pretty silly when there is no danger, but when smoke is in our eyes, we will be glad we have a memory of the right way to go.