I've been going through books that are piled in boxes as a result of new carpet being put down, determined to reduce my book volume by half. Many of the books are about healing from the past, from trauma, abuse, abandonment - books that I have clung to with desperateness as I strived to relieve myself of some of the pain I was experiencing.
But I am finding many of those books easy to let go of today. I have not looked at them for years, and I know the basic message contained in each one. My healing has not taken the form I thought it would - it is hard to say exactly what I am healed of, and how much I am healed. Yet I am finding these wonderful books no longer critical to my life, and the issues and distortions of my thinking no longer severe enough to warrant the kind of intense attention I used to give it. Healing has in fact taken place - not in a flash with laying on of hands, but through time, thought, and a ton of support and care from friends.
The books have become an indicator of progress that is otherwise hard to see - it is a milestone to discover I no longer need many of the supports I relied on for years. Things are not perfect, and other issues are on top, but there is comfort in seeing evidence that I have actually changed.
