When a hurtful incident occurs between friends who want to be reconciled, there will be something left undone if there are motives left unspoken, stories left unsaid, feelings left untouched. Yet sometimes we fear telling the other what really went on inside of us, for fear that will make it worse. We withhold, trying to make it less difficult; and we resent, feeling our pain has not yet been fully heard.
This does not work. Somewhere inside lingers the hidden shadow pieces that we don't want to share, the parts of us we do not love enough to let them be seen; and the connection between us is of necessity weakened, since we must now filter everything we share.
How can an incident ever be truly cleared, if we have not both confessed all, and forgiven all?
