Lessons of life abound everywhere. I went to Outback by myself yesterday to enjoy a good steak. Next to me was a jolly table of around 10 people, seemingly having a lot more fun than I was.
I found myself getting annoyed with their laughter and camaraderie, and starting to find things to judge them for. Awareness kicked in, and the incongruity of being annoyed with people for being happy was too obvious to ignore. As I looked, I found their party atmosphere brought up old fundamentalist feelings of being more holy than people who "partied, and got drunk, and fell into depravity". I remember going to a rare formal dinner put on by my church, and when I expressed that I enjoyed it, she responded with something like, "Well, we shouldn't do this often" - implying to me that desiring having social fun was not a very righteous thing to do. "It is hard for the rich (i. e., those who indulge in pleasures) to enter the kingdom of heaven."
Once the old message became clear, it was obvious what I actually believed, as opposed to the unconscious feelings that had arisen. Today, I have the opportunity to join others in the celebration of life. I no longer have to be alone, holding up a banner of holiness - I no longer have to be separate from the world.
I have lived like a stranger on this earth. When I join others in their celebration, I discover that at last, I am home.
No comments:
Post a Comment