Within each of us exists a primitive nature. This nature contains basic drives and desires and instincts. It is the source of our sexual drive, our emotions, our desire to connect, our needs. It is the source of our negative feeling that give us so many problems - selfishness, anger, the desire for revenge, the instinct to hurt someone we perceive as an enemy, the instinct to hide, lie, cover up, pretend.
We come by this nature honestly - it is the product of millions of years of evolution. In the jungle, the instinct to attack and kill something you perceived as a threat was a useful instinct, and humans probably owe their very existence to it. The ability to run and hide kept us from dangers we could not outrun. The fight to feed ourselves first helped weed out the weakest, and made our race strong.
However, those same genes are now finding themselves in the 21st century, where many of these instincts are not only of little use, but can be destructive to ourselves and those we love. So we find ourselves in a conflict - our intellect does a fairly good job at figuring out what is useful to us, but the power of our primitive nature often overrides our intellect and causes us to do things we regret.
The primitive nature cannot be denied. We know all too well the effects of repressing anger, or sexuality, or our own needs. It can be just as destructive as acting out on them. The primitive is a real part of us, and ultimately cannot be suppressed, denied, or willed out of existence.
However, there is a way out of this conflict. The primitive nature, while very powerful, is not intelligent. We may want to kill someone, but writing an angry letter will satisfy us, and the desire to kill will recede. We may have strong sexual urges, and no way to satisfy them, but we can use a lot of physical exercise to compensate. We may want to eat that cake when we are on a diet, but find that eating a small amount after a healthy meal may do the trick.
The fact that our primitive energy can be fooled also explains some of the puzzling destructive acts that people do. Someone was abused by his father, and he winds up abusing his wife. It is clear he is taking revenge, but his primitive nature does not realize it is on the wrong person. A few characteristics that remind him of his father is all it takes to set in motion that desire for revenge, for eliminating the danger that hurt him so much before.
Our primal energy cannot be bottled up without destruction to ourselves; however, it can be channelled into other directions that are not so harmful. Our intelligence can be used to look at the various acts that would satisfy a primitive energy, and pick one that would not be harmful. One kind of therapy does anger work, where the client takes a large foam rubber bat, or a tennis racket, and beats on pillows. Amazingly, all the trapped anger and desire for revenge can pour forth in this setting, because the client will not hurt anyone or anything. The results is a release and a relief from anger that has been buried, and less of a desire to act that anger out in the world.
What stops us the most is shame. Our society looks down on primitive energies - on sexuality, violence, selfishness - and for good reasons. But the result is to cause us to be ashamed of our primitive self, and attempt to deny it is there, or prevent it from having any voice. This denial is what creates the shadow - the part of us we don't want to know, and reliably turn our eyes from, so that we can live up to an artificial standard of having no primitive side. But these powers grow in the shadow, since they are not being satisfied or channeled in a useful direction.
Primitive energies are ultimately good - they derive from life itself. But it takes awareness of them to capture that potent energy in them and use them for good. Sexuality can be used to build a deep relationship. Anger can be used to energize us to take action against some wrong in the world. Selfishness can be harnessed into helping us love ourselves so that we can be more present in the world. The desire to hide can be channelled into a time of meditation that can renew us rather than separate us.
All that is within us is good. The more we are aware, the more we can actualize our goodness.
No comments:
Post a Comment