I've been going through books that are piled in boxes as a result of new carpet being put down, determined to reduce my book volume by half. Many of the books are about healing from the past, from trauma, abuse, abandonment - books that I have clung to with desperateness as I strived to relieve myself of some of the pain I was experiencing.
But I am finding many of those books easy to let go of today. I have not looked at them for years, and I know the basic message contained in each one. My healing has not taken the form I thought it would - it is hard to say exactly what I am healed of, and how much I am healed. Yet I am finding these wonderful books no longer critical to my life, and the issues and distortions of my thinking no longer severe enough to warrant the kind of intense attention I used to give it. Healing has in fact taken place - not in a flash with laying on of hands, but through time, thought, and a ton of support and care from friends.
The books have become an indicator of progress that is otherwise hard to see - it is a milestone to discover I no longer need many of the supports I relied on for years. Things are not perfect, and other issues are on top, but there is comfort in seeing evidence that I have actually changed.
Gene,
ReplyDeleteIt is nice to hear that your searching, reading, and suffering have paid off. Looking back on your journey you can now see how far you have really progressed.