We wake up from the sleep of pre-birth and find ourselves in a world of feeling, mystery, rich with significance. Things around us and in us make us cry, become afraid, become happy, curious, angry. What we experience is meaningful to us from day one.
Yet, as adults, we research the world and study the laws of science, the mechanics of the universe, and discover to our dismay, that meaning is not there. The world appears fairly mechanical, operating by cause and effect. Even the study of our own brains results in a mechanistic explanation, and the study of our emotions yields an understanding of hormones and brain activity. No where in this scenario is there any purpose, any meaning, anything that explains the deep experiences we have, and continue to have, throughout our lives.
Many reach the logical conclusion that there is no meaning, and we must either invent one and live in pretense, or accept there is none and live a life of contradiction to what we believe. Others believe that meaning is defined by an authoritarian God, who simply decrees it into existence. Neither alternative is very comfortable.
A shift has happened in us when we became rational beings, during the pre-teen years - we started to look to logic instead of experience as the source of truth. Originally, we had a set of experiences, and we found various theories we learned or overheard helped us categorize and make sense out of our experience. But eventually, the theories became the truth, and we started judging our experience according to what we believed, and rejecting experience that did not fit.
When we lose experience, we become adrift in a world of rationality, cut off from our core being, the being that experiences. We ask, "Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? What meaning does my life have?" But there are no logical answers to these questions that truly satisfy. If I say I am the product of random forces that began with the big bang, that gives me no comfort in feeling I belong here on the earth. If I say my purpose is to be happy, or to satisfy my desires, it seems pretty useless to pursue pleasure, education, fame or money for this person who will be dead in 50 years. To what end do we do these things? If I say my meaning comes from my religion or God, then what of others who believe differently?
One cannot derive "ought" from "is". One can look at all the facts of the physical world, and probe the depths of brain neurology, and study the history of evolution, but never can we take a set of facts and derive a statement of "should" from them. Morality, value, purpose, meaning, are all inherently unreachable if one starts from the world of facts and reason.
Yet we all had a sense of meaning once. When we were born, we didn't question why we were there. We were intimately connected with our little universe, instantly reacting to stimuli, deeply connected in a web of objects, sensations, feelings, reactions, expression of our inward selves, instantly responding and interacting with living beings and caretakers. We were part of the web of life.
When we became convinced that logic led to truth, we lost that connection - we lost the intimacy we had with the universe, and lived in the world of facts and beliefs. And one cannot start at reason and arrive at living. We can experience a proof, but we cannot prove an experience.
What then? How do we discover the meaning of life? The answer does not lie in any rational statement, because that will never touch the soul. The answer cannot be arbitrarily chosen if it is to be real. The answer can only arise spontaneously out of experience, like sexual desire arises from our bodies.
I look at a sunset, and I do not conclude there is meaning - I discover it. I discover that the colors fascinate me, that the scene moves me, that my thoughts spontaneously wander around the world's bigness and my smallness, around how life can be full of amazing beauty that appears without anyone's effort. I did not decide there was meaning; rather, I stood before the world and discovered that meaning was there. There is no deduction here, nor induction - there is only spontaneous discovery.
It may take us years to discover a meaning for our individual lives, for we are much more complex than a sunset, much more wonderful, much more paradoxical and mysterious. But when we stand fully and honestly before our lives, and really see ourselves, we will eventually see the meaning that is there.
Comment posted by Gene
at 6/18/2006 9:28:00 PM
A beautiful poem, Alex. I look forward to your comments also.
Comment posted by Alex
at 6/13/2006 7:45:00 PM
Gene,
While I'm considering how to respond, I leave you with this:
http://www.panhala.net/Archive/It_Was_Like_This.html
Alex
Comment posted by jaiamma
at 6/12/2006 10:16:00 AM
Hi Gene, I found this post of yours to be very meaningful... (smile) My experience: "Everyone wants to be happy. No one wants to suffer." (the Dalai Lama). People who are experiencing suffering search for meaning. People who are free from suffering don't. Note I distinguish between suffering and pain. Suffering is not just the ups and downs of everyday life, but fundamentally human suffering is being burdened with the deep belief (felt in the body, emotions and mind) that who we are is limited to our fragile, mortal bodies and our personality (often dysfunctional).
Any "meaning" of life derived from intellectual analysis is like trying to find sweetness by licking a sheet of paper with the word "honey" written on it.
There have been brief moments in my life when I've experienced deep bliss. In those moments I and everything was and felt perfect, complete and deliciously beautiful. If, in those moments, someone had asked me "What's the meaning of life?" I would have laughed and said "Look at that tree! Look at that child! Look at that old beggar! Can't you see its all perfect and blissful just as it is? That's the "meaning" of life; this amazing present moment just as it is. Why search for something that is already here? Its like a fish searching for water."
So, Gene, I'm in joyful agreement with your primary points. That the "meaning" of life is found when we deeply experience the present moment just as it is, without judgment. Its beautiful that people search for the meaning of life because they are really searching for who they truly are (beyond mental concepts). Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone eventally will discover that true, unconditional happiness (meaning) is only found when they realize they are the whole cosmos; are the Divine Presence. They are not little vulnerable egos that will disappear into dust.
For me, the meaning of life is a felt experience in the body and emotions, not any kind of concept or philisopical notion. The nice thing about having those moments of bliss is that when I'm in my suffering (which is most of the time) I still feel that the "meaning" of life is this present moment. That feeling is a continual remnant or residue of my bliss experiences. I response to the question about why God allows suffering, one great sage said "I like suffering. It brings me closer to God." So, if approached with the right attitude, suffering can dissolve the ego rather than reinforce it.
The search for meaning in life is really just the search for the end of suffering. That completely defines my life; the search for the end of suffering. That search fills me to the brim with meaning & purpose. As I grow, this search is simply about accepting and surrendering to each moment just as it is (especially my pain). Continual opening of the heart is the meaning of life. Suffering ends when my feeling that I am a separate self dissolves. 99% of the time I feel separate. But that 1% has seeped deeply into the rest of my life.
I deeply appreciate Gene how you're exploring these big questions and turning the light of your awareness right back into your own being, searching for your true self. Being an optimist, I feel that as the world evolves, more and more people will engage in that search as they discover that excessive material pleasures don't bring true happiness.
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