The Human Experience

Last night I went to a meditation where we watched a video of Wayne Dyer. He impressed me, appearing very different than when I had read "Pulling Your Own Strings" years ago. His heart seemed pure and egoless, and the truths he spoke of were mostly things I have been learning over the past few years in my life.

Yet I was restless. We sat around discussing ideas of letting the past go, living in the present. There is something ironic in discussing being present, in using symbols and concepts to talk about what is right in front of us and all around us. It struck me that so many of us who are interested in new age spirituality have gotten these concepts down, and can discuss them intelligently, and debate which concept is most useful - yet, as Dyer said, it is in the living that it matters, not in the discussion. I've heard and understood great deep truths from many authors; but only occassionally, does one of them actually strike something inside and transform my life. Are we just accumulating doctrines to form a new religion?

People from all ages are all faced with the same thing - life, this experience of being human. And it is within each of us to approach it with awareness and an open heart, no matter what religion, age, society, or lack thereof, we come from. I long to share my experience, and hear the experience of others, as they touch life/god/reality/the present. How can words ever define this morning, as I lay naked in the sun in my back yard, watching the dark and light leaves quiver against a deep blue sky? I can describe it, but only if you have already experienced something similar to it will you have a clue what I am talking about. It is our experience, not our concepts, that constitute life.

I lay there this morning thinking about disappointments, and dreams I was in the process of giving up, and the desires and hopes and wishes I had to juggle against the steely wall of reality. But then the sun broke through, and I became lost in the sensuality of my surroundings. I realized that in this moment, all my needs were met. I was fully satisfied. Only when I thought of what I wanted tomorrow did I experience restlessness.

Can I experience pleasure without grasping onto it, becoming afraid I won't have it again, or as often as I want? Can I experience pain without clinging to it long after it is gone, seeking care for wounds already closed? Can I have my experience of being human on this earth without making it my identity, without losing site of my true essence, the thing I was before I left the garden of Eden and wandered into the human world?

And who is this essence that I am? This essence is what I want to get to know.

Comment posted by Heidi
at 5/22/2006 11:59:00 AM
I have also had my judgements about sitting around and talking about living experiences, wondering how many of us actually went home and practiced what we considered so highly precious. I admit that I find myself weak in the practice.

And are we practicing a new religion? I kind of agree to that with a grin. After all, if a person wants to change their heart and soul and connect with like-minded people, it almost becomes a practice or religion with new doctrines attached. For this part, I try very hard to keep my faith in focus so I do not confuse what I believe with what I am experimenting with in life.

But the one thing I have learned to value deeply is the privilege of joining like-minded people whenever a gathering occurs and re-enforcing good life values and practices together. I may be weak from time to time, but having good friends who support similar values helps me come back to myself in the 'now' and "know" that I am not alone in this quest.

Thanks for reminding me of these values, Gene.